James and George
Southern California Skate Boarders Film 4
First off I have to say, I have never skateboarded…I am far too delicate and frankly I think if I fell and skinned my knees or hands I would just cry so hard I would start hyperventilating. I prefer my physical activities to take place in a bedroom or bathhouse. But I have seen enough skateboarding to know when someone is good and when someone sucks…thankfully our rainbow community has closet cases like Tony Hawk or this movie would convince people that just like white men can’t jump…gays can’t skateboard. Fortunately skateboarding isn’t the only thing they suck at, cos they are damn fine at sucking cock, so unless you’re watching this movie for the skateboarding (in which case honey, you have enough troubles as it is) you should get what you’re looking for.
My biggest problem was that either the camerawork was totally amateur or they were trying to copy that nauseating Hollywood fad of shaking the camera all over the place while filming…which I guess is okay if the hormones in the air had the cameraman shaking cos he was jacking his cock. But that wasn’t his excuse cos often it wasn’t even during sex scenes, so shame on him. But when you get down to it…and we all like getting down to it, the sex itself was fabulous and somehow each scene made me crave rushing to the store and getting some Hostess cream-filled Twinkies…I wonder why that would be. The youthfulness and lust really comes through regardless of that naughty cameramans atrocious work and streamers ribbons and swishes to Southern California Skate Boarders Film 4, now I’m off to get some cream-filled Twinkies and get that creamy filling all over my lips to lick it off.
Penal Pen Pals
Well honey…as everyone knows, the only good thing about a yawn is that your mouth is conveniently open for if some nice young stud wants to come by and slide anything in it. Well a yawn and a bit of wondering if it is just a nightmare instead of a movie is all I was able to get from Penal Pen Pals. Television has so many of those silly and stupid reality shows and we can all tell that most of them aren’t really reality…just real amateur actors with real scripts and my only hope for Penal Pen Pals is that it isn’t really reality, and if it is, then someone really needs to review what people want when they watch porn…sure, Oz was a fabulous series, but porn is about sex baby.
Each scene competes for which one will bore you to an orgasm first. Now I’m sure that everyone in the world has a wonderful story to tell about who they are, how they got to where they are, and what they want, but if I’m going to be watching a movie that will enable me to let the semen out to swim…I want to see sex. Not listen to some guy telling me about how he got busted for selling weed, and jail is lonely, and how he fantasized about sex with some pornstar who was on the outside, and then finally after listening to them whine, seeing some of the most boring sex I have ever seen. Like lock me away for a year and then bring me that yummy Jeff Palmer and watch me unleash a years worth of sexual frustration on his ass. I definitely would not be wasting a bunch of time talking to the camera. I would let my cock do the talking for me. But sadly, all you get to see are these guys telling their stories and then having brief quickies that you’d better have some really good wrist action happening if you want to cum before the action is over. No swishes for Penal Pen Pals, just wishes that I could have the time back to watch one of the better movies we have.
A Night In Leather
When it comes to sinful skin on skin fetish fun…you can’t beat the fun you can find with a leather-boy. If you dig leather-fun like I do and movies along these lines then just like me, you’re going to find A
Night In Leather to be like a religious experience. After all, Hallelujah! and Glory Behold…it starts off with an awesome glory hole scene between a couple of the most succulent, juicy leather and stud-clad studs I’ve seen since my last trip to San Francisco (I didn’t leave my heart there but I sure left a lot of loads). I wasn’t too sure at first how this would go because there are so many fake and poser leather-lovers out there making movies like this, but this is the real deal.
The size of movie and the size of the cocks are both admirable and the variety of settings show that these guys pick some awesome play areas to have fun. From that opening gloryhole scene to an underground gay bar…group scenes in a dungeon setting, they cover it all in A Night In Leather. Nor are these guys shy to show how open they are and how much they love the feel of man against man flesh as the temperature goes off the thermometer and the intensity sizzles away while they hungrily devour each others flesh and relish the feeling of their bodies against each other working each other off; sucking, kissing, fucking, ass-slapping their way to full-on pleasure. One of the hottest things in this movie for me was the prodigious cum shots…I mean these guys shoot huge loads and there is more semen in this movie than there is in Atlantis. Overall this was a fabulous movie to get up to and off to and I recommend it to everyone, especially those of you who are into the leather scene. Five leather clad swishes of lust for A Night in Leather.
Hard Workin Men
Nice work if you can get it….honey, I’m not sure what work these yummy lean sex machines do but sign me up, I want one of these jobs. The title says Hard Workin Men, but the only way that the word hard works for anything here is the scrumptious play-poles these guys sport in scene to scene. I guess the moral for this movie is that no matter what work you do, it can always be fun, and if you’re lucky or just prime beefcake like these guys, the hard part of hard work can be something good to look forward to instead of the 9-5 drudgery that most people have to endure.
I’m sure most people would have better days if their workdays started off with this kind of continental breakfast…more cream please garcon. Even though every one of the guys in Hard Workin Men is complete candy (for candy like this I would bark “I want candy” like a dog…bow-wow-wow) the sex itself falls into a very french vanilla medium. No intimate romance really, yet also no all inhibitions abandoned rough and tumble sex either. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy this movie, I’m just saying that I couldn’t quite grasp what the actors motivations were from scene to scene other than having sex (which I guess is a very fine motivation in itself). The actors in Hard Workin Men do have a youthfulness, stamina and it is very easy on the eyes as well as arousing in other areas to view them, and I’m sure that I’m likely to see these studs in a lot more movies and I look forward to seeing their progress as they continue in porn being such Hard Workin Men…why oh why can’t this be my hard work. A bunch of satisfied swishing loads of fun from Hard Workin Men.
Let’s get physical…physical. Let’s get physical, let me hear your body talk…body talk. Ooo whenever I hear that Olivia Newton John song I just see leg warmers on my ankles and a big pink headband around my head, and it sends shivers of deja-vu decadence down my spine. Well that should be the soundtrack to this wonderful movie of Physical Fitness and Lustful Exercise….Loved it ! Whether its showing how good these guys are at handling balls or the great strength thiney posess while they lift amounts of weight that leave me breathless with my mouth open (fill it please) or the camraderie they share and sense of fellowship as well as fun…this is a wonderful movie.
Each scene has sculpted eye-candy studs in juicy situations with each other where they can show off their physiques to the very best of the camera’s magical abilities bringing a little bit of sculpting to my magic wand while watching, and unlike many guys who work out, these guys have some pretty powerful wands of their own and can maintain their own iron bars even while pumping iron. The action only gets closer and more full on as they come together for sensuous massage time as a preliminary to cumming together. These are no dumb beefcakes either as they show that even it comes to theory in class-time, they know that the best theory for physical action is sex. Physical Education is a movie that will make us all wish that our physical education classes were like this and reminds us that working out and getting fit together is something that all guys can have fun with if we really go for that full all out, all body workout. A bunch of swishes and thrusts for Physical Education and I will wait with breathless anticipation for Physical Education 2.
Shore Thing
Summertime always gets me frisky, and summer hunks frolicking on the beach in their bikini briefs get me even friskier, so Shore Thing was a sure thing guaranteed to turn me on, get me hot, frisky and ready to frolick! We’re treated to four spectacularly sexy scenes with hunky studs exploring each other’s bodies with passion and tenderness exquisitely combined for intense satisfaction. Starting with a story of a lost cock-ring deliberately placed to lure a hunky young stud back for some super sexy cock-play, Shore Thing takes us on a ride of ecstasy and exploration as these hunky studs delight with their sexy foreign language (hearing their husky tones speaking a language I don’t understand as they seduce each other just makes the hair tingle on the back of my neck and the horniness and hardness rise in my pants) and amaze with their cock-handling skills as they produce some of the best male bonding footage I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing.
A super sexy shower scene is second in the line-up, and these two hunks don’t waste any time getting straight into the action. The sensuality emanated from this couple as they kissed, caressed, sucked and eventually fucked in several positions while the water beat down on their hot naked bodies. You’re definitely treated to some excellent eye-candy in Shore Thing, and the rest of the movie kept up the pace with a poolside pounding coming next that featured some sexy toe-sucking and close-up rimming and a whole variety of fuck positions in and out of the water. Of course, what summertime beach experience is complete without the image of super-sexy studs jumping up and down and bouncing those cute asses in a friendly game of volleyball, and Shore Thing delivers exactly what we want with a final ridiculously hot threesome scene that blew my mind as well as my load. Five spectacularly sensual swishes to the left for Shore Thing.
Brazilian Beef
If you aren’t a young twink, you probably remember the movie Blame it on Rio starring a young sexy Michael Caine…hated it. Anyways, this is what that movie should have been about, because it shows all the best sights to see in Brazil, without even having to go outside more than a couple of times. That’s right, the best things Brazil has to see are the tanned young studs that overflow their lucky country, and if one of them happened to be named Rio, the only thing I would blame him for is the bow-legged walk I would have the next day.
The length of Brazilian Beef is as epic as my favorite blockbuster movie ‘Lord of the Rings’…you know the one where this guy has this cock ring that just keeps his cock hard and wanting to get fucked all the time, and he’s on a quest to find the perfect anal ring (sphincter) for it to fit into…well, the length of the cocks on some of these younger studs as they enjoy the spiciness their Latin blood craves is also something to get excited about and scene after scene of rimming, sucking, fucking and cumming leaves you drained and content over and over throughout the movie. If any of the youthful studs in this movie ever manage to sneak across the borders into America, they will certainly find sanctuary as my personal cabana boys. Brazilian Beef was very satisfying in all the right ways and gets five swishes of my muy caliente salsa.
Whatever It Takes
Whatever It Takes certainly had whatever it took to stretch the limits of my imagination as I got to see some of the nicest meat I’ve ever seen outside of that little deli down on 4th street…you know the one I mean with that young hunky looking Greek vision of swarthiness that works in the back…I’d sure like to work in his back; but oh I digress. This movie starts off with an exquisitely well-hung young adonis…well I say well-hung, I mean he can spin it like a propellor (and you know those are some friendly skies I would like to fly on) and the meat market from this point only gets as good if not better.
Not only are the guys in this movie picture perfect models, but each and every one of them is well enough hung to be perfect models for penis pills that make your cock larger. Each scene has enough super hot sucking and fucking to put the swirls in my lollipop, and the generous makers of this movie also did not limit these super-studs as we get ’super-sized cock cubed’ in a spectacularly throbbingly hot and well-hung match-up of a trio of Toreadors. If you like your meat well-hung then Whatever It Takes has what it takes to give your love-rocket lift-off over and over again. Seven stratospheric swishes of epic proportions for Whatever It Takes.
First Seduction
This movie just goes to prove what I’ve always said…all men are sluts. Now I know some of you are thinking “LeVar…what are you talking about ? My straight neighbor is totally not a slut, even though I wish he was…but he’s owned by his woman.” Well to this I say; Honey you are sooo wrong, if you got her out of the way for a day and invited him over for some redneck beer and had some woman porn on, before you know it he would have his cock out with you having yours out and after a few minutes mutual jacking, the offer of your mouth would appeal to him just as much as any womans. Know why? Cos like First Seduction shows, all men are sluts.
The scenes vary from viginettes like I previously described with a porn movie, breaking the ice but making things oh so nice and then move forwards showing how much men in union (even if one of them is mixed up in the head and thinks he prefers women) can accomplish. Co-operation is the name of the game as these guys join together using their unity to accomplish their goals and then showing each other that gay or straight, one thing guys have in common is the joy and pride we take in our tools. Of course, any time when one guy shows his tool to another, the guy it’s being shown to needs to try it out and that’s just as true when it comes to the tempting tools between our legs. These guys obviously take pride and pleasure in showing their straight friends and neighbors that ‘Anything a she can do…A he can do better’. Four big swishes of neighborly love from my friendly neighborhood watering hose to First Seduction.
